I realised My worth the day it hit me that I was getting taken for a fool.
A lot of girls fall for the sweet talk, makes us feel all tingly inside and at times special.....I was one of those girls. I always thought within me that I was strong and couldn't let any guy walk all over me, that probably would have been the case but what happens when the weaker part of you overtakes the strong independent woman in you?!
Some can do without falling for the sweet talk, whereas others aint so lucky. The funny thing is, I reached the stage where I didn't cave in, where I refused to believe the words I heard but no matter how much I fought it, in the back of my mind I appreciated the 'Niceness' of what was said. A part of me reluctantly believed what I was hearing but by now I had mastered not giving my heart away to any Tom, Dick and Harry no matter how hard it was. I was proud of myself coz I wasn't so foolish anymore, because even if I did believe what 'he' said I didn't fall for it, I just brushed it off my shoulders, I was loooonngg Over him!
That was until today when I saw the pictures on her page, when I saw her status and realised that all this time he was talking to me, all this time I was fighting my weakness and overcoming it with bravery....he was telling lies! Every single word that came out of his mouth was untrue and I was the fool because no matter how hard I tried, no matter how much I convinced myself....a part of me still believed him! It was a whole new revelation to me that all that brave talk I was giving, all that time I thought I had actually moved on and grown stronger...I was fooling myself! Coz if I was strong, why was I so angry? If I was strong, why did I feel like punching him in? If I was strong, why did I feel like ruining his relationship? If I was strong, why was I hurt??!!
Answer: Not Because I had feelings for him, not even because I'm a fool..But because I'm human!
We often like to kick ourselves down when things like this happen to us but we've just gotta realise that we are human so we're allowed to get hurt, we just can't let that hurt leave a scar everytime! I got over this because I realised that the only thing that bothered me was me actually thinking that the guy was for real, though I had no feelings for him and knew I wasn't interested in a relationship with him, I just thought it was nice to have someone think of me like that. And I had no feelings for him because I knew I could do better, I believed I could do better more than I believed the words he told me. Guys are the needy ones in these situations and not girls, coz sadly they think WE need them and therefore try to play cool, when really they're checking to see if they've 'still got it'.....INSECURITIES!
As long as you know within you that you really know who you are and what you're worth, then no guy is gonna be able to play you...it's fustrating to me because I seem to be an easy target, but hey.....practise makes perfect right???
Stay Posted
Zwelae Love
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